Melody

Like father... Like daughter. 

For anyone who knows our family it is apparent that music is an integral part of our daily life. In accordance, more frequently than not, Miss Sophia can be found tickling the ivories whilst singing impromptu songs she comes up with in the moment. I am brought to tears as I witness her passion and instinctual gift. I am one blessed mama. 

Reminder

Timeout

So little Miss Charlotte has morphed into little Miss Sassy Pants as of late and she is showing no signs of crossing back over to sweetness anytime soon. It's been a rough few days as naps have been hit or miss and activities have overflowed our social calendar with the kids on spring break. With reason, her mood swings are to be expected... we just weren't expecting an episode during the middle of dinner. It was such a gallant display of theatrics, Oscar worthy really, that we had to capture it on film. Behold Charlotte's Noodles and Company timeout, which was not only a long two minutes for us but also for all of the other diners who bore witness to this reoccurring performance. Watch out Broadway...

Polkadots and Stripes

Happy Easter

Quote of the Day

Etienne: "Mom, you look taller today."

(At 5'1" this is an extreme bit of flattery)

Good Friday

This day is not about me and what I want but about Him and what He gave.

A Gift From Kenya

Etienne came home from school with a secretive smirk on his face and although his track record hasn't always been all that great from time to time, this smile alluded to something good. The week was daunting and many things in our life seemed to rest in such uncertainty that I was emotionally exhausted, but pushing forward. Unexpectedly, Etienne was about to fill me with the joy that only a child can provide in all of their hope and innocence. 

To preface, the kid's school is sister schools with a school in Kenya and each year numerous fundraisers and activities center around this bond. Last week a market was held wherein Sophia and Etienne were given the opportunity to purchase Kenyan items as a means of support and awareness. Here is where my gift from Kenya was purchased and a thankfulness within me overpowered my, at moments, desperate longing for the twins. 

Behind his back Etienne held a gift and in his heart he expressed an unwavering love for his mom and the continent of his baby sister and future siblings. Meet Zinga Zinga our little wooden gazelle from Kenya. Not only is this tiny trinket symbolic for Africa, it also represents the growing passion within our family to serve a nation that we now consider an extended piece of home. It's amazing how something so small can bring such perspective.

It Makes Sense

Disclaimer: This is NOT our referral announcement...yet.

So last week presented itself a slew of new and unexpected possibilities most of which didn't make sense but seemed divine none the less. As stated in our previous post a week old set of twins from Liberia came to our attention and in the universal command to care for the orphans we stepped forward, not knowing whether or not our help was needed but willing to provide if called. A dear friend, Suzi Redman, put things into perspective for me in a way that I could not have processed alone:  

But, the twins in Liberia..... wow!!! What a journey that would be. You just never knew where God will (and has already) taken you!!! Is He seeing that you have followed him for over a year now in waiting for twins, and now He's showing you the twins, just not the ones you thought you'd have..... but believing you have the strength to wait for them. Or, was the picture of the twins a gift, and a bit of peace in the storm of last week. Maybe they aren't your twins, but a visual reminder that you will have your babies home..... but yours aren't quite ready yet!!! 

As it stands today these precious little ones served as a promise of what lies in our future, as Suzi stated a "visual reminder that (we) will have (our) babies home," but that they are not quite ready yet. Our family was not chosen to sponsor the twins in Liberia, from what I understand many petitioned to help which in and of itself is such a blessing to these little ones and their surviving family. AJ and I are doing really well with the decision, understanding that it was made by God and that it is what's best for these twins and our family. We walked through a door in faith and God redirected us - there is complete peace in this. Please join us in prayer as we continue to lift up these twins and the sponsor family able to support them.

It Doesn't Make Sense

As I lay in bed I prayed not for what I wanted to happen (our referral) but rather to trust and not feel, for His will to be my desires and for peace in whatever may come. To make a long story very short, after a lengthy and at moments intense phone conversation with our adoption agency yesterday, we ended the call in tears. The news was difficult to hear and not what we wanted to happen. No news, no referral, no predictable end in sight. My heart ached.

An enormous outreach of support flooded us as we shared our hurt with fellow adoptive friends and our family. I am overwhelmed by the love and encouragement we have been blessed with and realize that despite the pain of waiting, friendships have been formed and strengthened beyond comprehension - For this I am eternally thankful. Bottom line, AJ and I know that we are called to adopt twins, we trust that the path we are on was not placed by us and we completely acknowledge the fact that the outcome is beyond our control (this admission coming from a struggling control addict).  We will continue the wait and pray for patience to encompass us all the while hoping for a joyful ending where the twins are wrapped in our arms forever. 

So now, let me share with you some interesting news that AJ and I are still attempting to wrap our minds around. Last summer I landed here - Forget Me Not Children's Home. FMN is the first long term foster home program in Monrovia Liberia (West Africa) to specifically take in the abandoned 'special needs' child and as it so happens it is also 'based' out of Wisconsin. When I first visited the site I was instantly taken especially by the story of a little girl named Patience who passed away before she was able to come to the states with her adoptive family. Fast forward to this past week Thursday, I received an email forward from a friend who instantly thought of me as she read through it's context...

http://walkalongsideliberiaskids.blogspot.com/2011/04/sometimes-you-have-to-wander-off-path.html

I am not about to begin to attempt to decipher what God is doing, but we do have the means to support these little ones and enough love to cloak them. I am brought to this verse from the book of James: "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but does not have works? Can this kind of faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, keep warm and eat well,' but you do not give them what the body needs, what good is it? So also faith, if it does not have works, is dead being by itself." John 2:14-17 

I spoke to Donna (also from Wisconsin) from Global Orphan Outreach regarding the twins and their current situation last night. After an informative conversation she said that we should know more this coming Tuesday in reference to our ability to help these twins. The goal of our support as stated by Donna would be to sponsor them today with the hopes of adopting them later. We are cautious but faithful, especially since Liberia is currently closed to international adoptions aside from special needs cases. AJ and I spent the evening in prayer and discussion and although this doesn't make sense on the surface we believe that this has circled around to us for a reason beyond our understanding. Today we know that these little ones NEED someone to provide for them, we know that they are living in a country where the infant mortality rate is devastatingly high and we know that we are commanded to care for the orphans. We will progress, praying for God's will be done while open to whatever He has in store for our family... even if that means two sets of twins at some point.

Baby girl on the left and baby boy on the right

Update

Let me preface this post by saying that this is not our referral announcement.

As things currently stand we are still waiting. However, hopefulness is abundant especially since having received a promising update from our adoption agency last week Friday. After over three months of being caught in a stagnant holding pattern, an announcement that referrals were going to begin again this week was made and as you can surely imagine relief was had.

My hopes are high but my expectations are low if that makes sense. I cannot wait to see the little faces that I have only dreamed of for the past fourteen months, to know who God has chosen for our family, to begin the next step towards bringing them home. Although, at the same time, I don't want to be hurt anymore, I am afraid of being disappointed, I don't want to anticipate something that falls prematurely. I am praying for faith beyond my impatience and for comfort if what I hope for doesn't materialize. I desire God's will to be done above my own and in Him I trust for He is the one who brought us to this path and He is the one who will deliver us.

Baby twins, we may have yet to see you but we love you. We may not know the details of your story yet we embrace them. Our daily lives already include you and our prayers wash over you constantly. Your big brother already has a section in his room ready for you. Your big sisters look forward to caring for you. Mommy and Daddy ache to be with you. May the Lord Jesus shield you with angels and may you shine for His glory to everyone and anyone who has the pleasure to be near you.

Praying that we are with you soon.

Fourteen Months Waiting

Praying this is the last "months waiting" post for referral that I will have to reluctantly put up!

Praying that the Lord finds favor in showing us the twins this week.

Praying for His will to be done.

Atlanta

If you feel like you've seen a post much the same as this somewhere else, that's because you probably have - here. One week ago during our descent back home, the Fink family and Camp Hoffman met face to face. Brought together through a shared love for Ethiopia and in a joined quest to pray our babies home. God blessed us with them in more ways than I believe we expected or were prepared for. Over pizza and garlic bread we formed a friendship that although 'new' felt aged to perfection. We can honestly say that we LOVE this family and truly wish that they lived close enough for a dinner date every week.

Magic Kingdom

Hollywood Studios

Marshmallows

How awesome was this! Roasting marshmallows by camp fire next to a pirate ship on the beach. Oh Disney... just one of the many reasons we love you!

Pool Day

Animal Kindgom

Epcot

Just a short walk from our hotel, we spent day one at Epcot before AJ was to arrive later in the evening. Despite some rain, the kids and I tackled as many rides as we could and then a blessed surprise came over lunch at the Land Pavilion. In my attempt to stay as unconnected as possible during the trip, I could no longer ignore the constant dinging of my phone alerting me of new messages. Disbelief and relief overtook me as tears streamed from my eyes; Three months of prayers were answered in this moment as I read an email informing Gladney families that the seemingly never-ending investigation was over. I'm sure the other patrons around me thought I had gone mad as I frantically called AJ to share the news. He was about to pass through security at the airport when  he picked up. As I relayed the update he began crying too. In unison, praise for Jesus sprang from our lips as we lifted thanks to heaven with the hopes that we'd be able to see the twins soon. The rest of the day, already perfect, was made even more spectacular and celebration was in full swing as we were together in the happiest place on earth rejoicing.

Beach Club Resort

After just under eleven hours of driving we pulled into the Beach Club Resort in Walt Disney World. Sunshine filtered in through our windows and a warm breeze fanned our faces. We had arrived and against numerous odds we had done it. I had successfully driven across country with three small kids - A proud mama moment. Disney magic was all around as we stepped into our hotel and the week to follow would prove nothing less than fantastic. 

Sunshine and Cellphones

Virginia

The infamous Baby Juddah

I've been asked if I was crazy or perhaps disillusioned in taking on the proposed challenge of  driving across the country solo with three kids. In all honesty, moments before we drove off , insanity did cross my mind but it seemed more absurd not to take this opportunity to meet baby Juddah.We made amazing time, reaching the Indiana border in an hour forty-five (yes - I was speeding) and the kids went five hours solid without stopping for any potty breaks. Our first night was spent in West Virginia and then the following morning we drove through the Appalachian mountains and into Virginia. Upon arriving, our hotel exceeded expectations providing a main bedroom, living room, bath, kitchen and entry foyer - I could have lived here and the modern decor was so inspiring from a design aspect! We settled in, relaxed and prepared ourselves to meet Juddah, Cherrie and Emily Cornish along with their dear friend Kayla for dinner. A knock at our door signaled the much anticipated introduction and there he was in all of his adorableness - baby Juddah! None of us had ever met aside from our facebook friendships, which may seem slightly odd but it was much the opposite. It was brilliant to finally come face to face. Sophia's classmates had each made a card to present to Juddah and of course we couldn't help ourselves so we too had a few little gifts for him. We oohed and ahhed over this little miracle baby, cuddled and snuggled and then away we went to dinner. Sophia couldn't bear to be apart from Juddah so she drove with Cherrie, as we followed along and spent the evening fostering a friendship that we pray will last a lifetime. Saturday offered some more time with everyone and then Sunday at four o'clock in the morning the kids and I piled in the car and began our descent to Disney World...

Hi Ya!

We are home and although it feels wonderful to be reunited with the furry Finks, we are slowly realizing that we are in fact home. This is a little painful as images of Splash Mountain and Micky Mouse dance through our minds. Our Disney dope is expiring and we're already imagining the next visit... I think these may be warning signs of an addiction. 

Needless to say we had an amazing experience and the kids and road trips mix like kool-aid with water - flawlessly. There were no complications from the moment we hopped into the car to Virginia all the way through to our decent back to Wisconsin. I have an overabundance of photos and mental notes that I am going to attempt to blog through in order of occurrence. So here we go with a little teaser shot. To Be Continued...