As I lay in bed I prayed not for what I wanted to happen (our referral) but rather to trust and not feel, for His will to be my desires and for peace in whatever may come. To make a long story very short, after a lengthy and at moments intense phone conversation with our adoption agency yesterday, we ended the call in tears. The news was difficult to hear and not what we wanted to happen. No news, no referral, no predictable end in sight. My heart ached.
An enormous outreach of support flooded us as we shared our hurt with fellow adoptive friends and our family. I am overwhelmed by the love and encouragement we have been blessed with and realize that despite the pain of waiting, friendships have been formed and strengthened beyond comprehension - For this I am eternally thankful. Bottom line, AJ and I know that we are called to adopt twins, we trust that the path we are on was not placed by us and we completely acknowledge the fact that the outcome is beyond our control (this admission coming from a struggling control addict). We will continue the wait and pray for patience to encompass us all the while hoping for a joyful ending where the twins are wrapped in our arms forever.
So now, let me share with you some interesting news that AJ and I are still attempting to wrap our minds around. Last summer I landed here - Forget Me Not Children's Home. FMN is the first long term foster home program in Monrovia Liberia (West Africa) to specifically take in the abandoned 'special needs' child and as it so happens it is also 'based' out of Wisconsin. When I first visited the site I was instantly taken especially by the story of a little girl named Patience who passed away before she was able to come to the states with her adoptive family. Fast forward to this past week Thursday, I received an email forward from a friend who instantly thought of me as she read through it's context...
I am not about to begin to attempt to decipher what God is doing, but we do have the means to support these little ones and enough love to cloak them. I am brought to this verse from the book of James: "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but does not have works? Can this kind of faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, keep warm and eat well,' but you do not give them what the body needs, what good is it? So also faith, if it does not have works, is dead being by itself." John 2:14-17
I spoke to Donna (also from Wisconsin) from Global Orphan Outreach regarding the twins and their current situation last night. After an informative conversation she said that we should know more this coming Tuesday in reference to our ability to help these twins. The goal of our support as stated by Donna would be to sponsor them today with the hopes of adopting them later. We are cautious but faithful, especially since Liberia is currently closed to international adoptions aside from special needs cases. AJ and I spent the evening in prayer and discussion and although this doesn't make sense on the surface we believe that this has circled around to us for a reason beyond our understanding. Today we know that these little ones NEED someone to provide for them, we know that they are living in a country where the infant mortality rate is devastatingly high and we know that we are commanded to care for the orphans. We will progress, praying for God's will be done while open to whatever He has in store for our family... even if that means two sets of twins at some point.
|Baby girl on the left and baby boy on the right|