Blacktop Masterpiece

Time to Bid Adieu to Summer

Well folks, the summer is coming to a close along with all of the local watering holes. We spent our last day at the pool today, and in all honesty, I think we're ready for a change. It was like pulling teeth to get Sophia and Etienne to wade in and once they were submerged they wanted to escape. I hear so many people over and over again complain about how terrible Wisconsin living is due to the horrific winters and generally fickle climate. I used to join in on these allegations, however, as we bid adieu to the summer, a very hot and humid summer, I must rebuke these claims on a purely personal level. Although I have not always been so optimistic about my home state, since having a family, I have come to a place of appreciation for it.

We have seasons that breath new life into the air and landscape, in turn offering fabulous new wardrobe opportunities. It is a place of familiarity but with great levels of expansion. With it's mid-western morals and central location it is a place balancing on the cusp of new and old. I never thought I'd speak these words, feeling as though to express them would act as a means of settling, but after seeing so much of the world and picturing myself here or there, I must say that where I am is where I honestly want to be. I'm open to whatever God has in store for our family, but am thankfully at ease with our current locale.

Having our extended family near us, being two hours from Chicago, living minutes from downtown, surrounded by lakes and an abundance of green space, phenomenal restaurants and a vibrant music scene,  a church that fills us, and friends that enrich us - we are blessed. A place in and of itself isn't my direct source of happiness but it's not a distraction either.  I adore visiting the world and hope to always do so, AJ and I talk about purchasing a flat in London once the kids are older or maybe moving to Africa to work in an orphanage, but for now this is exactly where I want to be. This is where I desire to raise our ever-expanding family. Wink, wink... a referral this week would be wonderful!

Be sure to check back in on my positive viewpoints come mid-January!

More Family Photos 2010

My Man Got Some Ink

(Laurent@www.adambombgallerie.com)

This is the continuation... AJ has completed the mission and is now the proud papa to two brilliantly done tattoos. On each wrist, in traditional Amharic, bold text states: Jesus Saves. It's a homage to the birthplace of our daughter and soon-to-be twins and a symbolic reminder of how awesome and powerful God is!

The irony lies in the fact that he was front man to various bands for years and was tattoo free and now that he's left the music scene to spend time with his family he's got some ink. Maybe it's more rock and roll to be a daddy than a musician in our case!

Saturday Morning

Baby Giraffe, Ariel, Nemo, Roo, Elmo, a princess blanket and Charlotte all enjoying Saturday morning cartoons... The program of choice? Dora the Explorer!

Getting Older

Update: There will be no return to work on Monday for Papa Fink. As it turns out another one of his arteries is 80% blocked which means that he will be returning for a second surgery in two weeks. An adult diabetes suffer, he's been instructed by his doctors to closely monitor his diet and must administer four shots of insulin daily. He is also currently taking nine medications. Please pray for his recovery.

In a moment the mind can race from total serenity to overwhelming shock and despair. Yesterday afternoon my father-in-law suffered from a heart attack. It was his first day of teaching at a new job and rather than relishing in the excitement of his latest adventure, he was faced with a significant glimpse at the reality of life's delicacy. Unexpected and sudden, he was rushed via ambulance to a local hospital where the doctors on hand immediately preformed surgery. God's intervention and timing was magnificent, an hour later and he would no longer be with us today; his heart was completely closed off. Scheduled for discharge on Saturday and a possible return to work on Monday, I am in awe of those things that are beyond our control, the doctor's ability to fix and so thankful that my family remains intact.

The Bully In Me

As we are about to begin another academic year I can't help but reflect on my own personal experiences growing up. With great regret, I openly admit that  I was a grade school bully. Quiet and respectful to my authorities while at the same time sneaky and vindictive to my classmates. This parallel clash of personalities kept me under the radar as far as getting into trouble but maintained my focus at the center of destruction for anyone unfortunate enough to cross my path. Being the oldest child of four I felt as though I was a pseudo parent and as a "parental figure" of sorts, I believed I carried certain domination over my siblings and my peers. My crimes against humanity ranged from filling an Ad Lib book full of profanities and passing the blame to others once it was confiscated to hurling a frozen piece of poop at an unsuspecting girl on the playground, one cold winter afternoon. In retrospect, I was cruel, mean-spirited and craving approval in a twisted sort of way. Today, as I raise my three children I cringe at the thought of any of them partaking in similar scandals, however, I am prepared to sit them down if need be, to discuss the hurtfulness they would cause to another if they did follow in their mother's tainted footsteps. For the record - so far so good; the kids seem to be taking their father's lead and I have since become a fully recovered bully.

Lemonade Stand

 My Little Entrepreneurs

Obstacle

I don't know enough to educate anyone about diabetes. I can't begin to describe how it feels to have diabetes. I can, however, express my love for a little boy, three years of age, who has Juvenile Diabetes. Jaxson is the son of some of our oldest and dearest friends and was diagnosed at a mere 18 months old. His parents along with AJ and I have grown up together, been married during the same summer, given birth days apart and have been present in each others lives during events both considerable and inconsequential. Our phone rang one evening and tearful shock was on the other end; In this moment our friendship grew to support an entirely unexpected obstacle as a little man so full of life, determination, intelligence and strength was faced with a life long battle that would forever change everything. 

A recent Facebook posting so heartbreaking that I was frustrated at my powerlessness to make things well: "Really wishes he wouldn't have to live with this his whole life." 

It comes from a mother so tired and worn for her son that she literally aches for a cure. Katy is one of the most intelligent, encouraging and determined people that I know. Both she and her husband Tony, have brilliantly managed caring for their baby boy with a remarkable stamina and commitment that I am sure they never anticipated the capacity for. From fundraisers to research they have approached their shared battle with sincere grace, constant faith and unspeakable endurance. We are so proud of our friends, so in love with the family they have created together and so vehement for their plight. Please pray for them and for a cure.


To learn more: http://www.jdrf.org/

Jaxson's JDRF Video Juvenile Diabetes Type 1

Family Pictures 2010

Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them.

Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE having a sister-in-law who is an extremely talented photographer? We have been blessed with a family photo shoot and this is the first picture I've seen thus far... Talented would be an understatement in my opinion. Thank-you Denise - We love you! (www.finkstudios.com)

My Son's a Little Piggie

I'm certain that my son was not raised by wild boars. Pretty sure that there is not a little troll living under his bed whose main objective is to rid his room of cleanliness. However, despite all efforts to instill a sense of order and neatness to Etienne's room, it remains a pit of despair. Momma is a neat freak and for the most part, whether this is positive or negative, my children are too. It's not uncommon for any of my kids to be seen picking up foreign fuzzies from the floor and tossing them into the garbage can. Is it wrong that each time I see them on a lint hunt I feel a smile stretching across my face? Either way, the bus stops at T's room and visitor beware because I cannot guarantee safe passage.
                                 

Phone

For the first time since the onset of our adoption, I feel like there truly will be a moment when our phone will ring... flashing an 817 area code. However, for anyone reading this, it hasn't happened quite yet.

Tea Party

An acquaintance who has since become someone we consider a friend invited Sophia and Charlotte to be a part of a tea party photo shoot for her vintage inspired photography business (www.hanle-productions.com). I am honored that our girls were able to be a part of something so beautiful!

Adoption Basics

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a dear friend and her adorable daughter. While the kids played under our supervision we were able to catch up on each others lives and be refreshed by some adult conversation. The topic of adoption came up, as it typically does being so close to my heart, and we ventured into discussing how one goes about beginning an adoption. A process so long and intensive can seem overwhelming and unmanageable to anyone looking in from the outside. I began to think about how I was at the onset of my first Ethiopian adoption and how the road seemed impossible, full of terms and words that we're more foreign to me that the country I was about to visit, yet somehow we managed successfully. This led me to a desire to piece together a simplified step by step guide to map anyone in or to those considering the path of adoption to grow their family. I would love for anyone out in the blogging world to add to the list as they see fit. We are all in this together and everyone's advice and insight is greatly appreciated and ultimately necessary!

Step 1 :Pray
Voice your concerns, thoughts, ideas, and visions unto the ultimate Man in charge. This could quite possibly be one of the biggest life changing decisions of your life up to now. There is no looking back once you submit yourself to this particular calling. Having been there and done that, I can't imagine one reason why you'd ever want to turn back... A miracle unfolded before our eyes with Charlotte. Pray for patience, guidance and complete submission.

Step 2 :Research
Know what your options are as far as international and home study agencies are concerned. Compose a list of your "needs and wants" and be sure to ask a ton of questions and get answers.  Don't compromise but don't expect complete satisfaction every step of the way either. Life isn't perfect neither are adoption agencies... Know your battles and fight accordingly.

Step 3 :Decide     
Commit to an agency and move forward. Choose a country and be excited. Decisions need to be made and these are the primary foundation for what is to come. Understand that these seemingly scary choices are bringing you closer to your child or children. Don't over think just pick. 

Step 4 :Work
Get ready to dive head first into more paperwork that you can imagine. Remember your final term paper prior to college graduation? Take that and multiply it by ten and then multiply again by 1000 - this is your dossier.  Prepare yourself for tons of emails, late nights at the photocopier, a budding friendship with the post office employees and an inability to sleep due to the endless "To Do" list that continuously runs through your head 24/7. Know that this is a necessary evil but it's not rocket science, you'll be fine and it will get done; it just takes time.

Step 5 :Live
Don't get so overtly caught up in the longing and the wait that you forget where you are and what you have. It is so easy to get so involved in the wanting that you develop an inability to enjoy life leading up to referral.

Step 6 :Embrace
The end is beautiful, your baby or babies are in your arms and life is unparalleled. The first time your eyes lock will change everything about your capacity to love and I'm smiling just now thinking about this moment for each of you.

Step 7 :Transition
You're home, you're together and you're different. Life has changed in more ways than you could imagine and it may or may not be easier than where you came from. Know that this is just the beginning of something more beautiful than you've ever known.

There are so many details that go into the process that I have chosen not to elaborate on for sake of a simplistic set of directives. Under each step a zillion little 'this and that's' will evolve; Don't be intimidated and don't give up under pressure. There are so many resources available for guidance and support and never forget that where you are is where you were called to be. The joy you feel in adoption is unlike anything I have personally ever experienced and I am so thankful to have been down this path and excited to walk it again.

A Girl and Her Dog

Puppy Training

If I were an expert I'd write a book, but I'm not so I'll compose a post instead. It has been an interesting few weeks in the Fink house and a large majority of the "drama" circulated around a certain little puppy whom on the outside appears to be super sweet and innocent while on the inside is rather a pistol of fury and mischief. Our little Papillon, Audrey has turned our home upside down and just as we were about to be flipped no more she changed direction.

The s*** hit the fan when I woke up one Sunday morning with a wet head and little explanation. After noticing a wet pillow, the pieces of the puzzle fell together, pointing all blame on young Audrey and I immediately took a shower. Monday came, Audrey went to obedience school, our instructor advised us to find another home for our newest pup, tears fell from AJ's eyes and on Tuesday the puppy sheriff was in town...That's me for anyone wondering. Everything changed and it's been manageable since the new structure has been in place. I've decided to compile some information that we've found valuable after taking on the responsibility of training and raising two puppies. In the hopes that it will prove helpful to anyone out there who may be crazy enough to follow in our footsteps. We love having both Oliver and Audrey in our family and I believe strongly, without doubt, that kids and dogs DO mix but it's one heck of a recipe.

Oliver was kennel trained in two nights, potty trained in two weeks and was doing tricks almost immediately thereafter, all in the dead of winter. His obedience teacher has called him a prodigy of sorts, uses him as her example for the other dogs in class and on all accounts he seems nothing short of the perfect family dog. I've read that his specific breed, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, has much to do with his natural ability to behave and I for one am very grateful for his hereditary good temperament. He slept in his kennel in our bedroom each night until he was fully potty trained and we began bell training him as soon as he arrived (www.poochie-pets.net) so that each time he has to go potty he rings the bell. He caught on quickly on both accounts and has been doing well ever since. Oliver is easy. Audrey is not.

We blindly assumed that another puppy would be no big deal, especially one that has been noted as being one of the top ten smartest dog breeds, we could not have been more wrong. Just as all kids are different, all dogs are different and I'm not quite sure why I didn't recognize this parallel sooner. Regardless, we've grown attached to and are truly in love with both of our puppies and saw no way other than to adapt to the newest addition. We followed the same process we took with Oliver and it just wasn't clicking so we have changed it up a bit and the following steps have resulted in a little pup who is a treasure and honestly enjoyable to be around.

• Audrey continues to be bell trained so that each time she has to go outside she rings the bell and we in turn let her out. We stay outside with her and as soon as she does her business we praise her and give her a treat. She never gets treats inside of the house so that she associates their meaty goodness with outdoor excrement only.
• If we are unable to keep a constant eye on her she is blocked off in the kitchen with full access to her kennel, food, water and the potty bell.
• She is taken outside every hour on the hour although this is becoming less frequent as she is becoming more self aware. 
• Against contrary advice, both dogs sleep in our bed. They have a bathroom break immediately before bed around 11:00 pm and they will both sleep through the night. Audrey will wake up around 7:00 am and whine a bit while standing on the edge of the bed. This is her way of telling us that she's got to go! She spends some time outside and then eats breakfast while in kitchen confinement. I lay my head down for a few more minutes of peaceful rest before the kids awake.
• We are able to leave Audrey in her kennel for up to four hours and she seems perfectly content to be in her cozy little faux den.
• Both she and Oliver have together time and time apart so that they don't become co-dependent. 

After writing this I feel as though part of the reasoning behind the post may have something to do with a personal desire to have documentation of just how much work having two dogs is. Just the other day AJ admitted to sometimes thinking about getting another Cavalier - my answer was "No!" I also believe that if you have enough energy having two dogs, one cat and three kids can be done and sanity can remain intact. Now that we're finally at a point of relaxed breathing, I can't help but wonder if a referral for twins might not stir things up soon. If that is the case, I'm sure I'll be writing about how we're managing to survive with two dogs, one cat and five kids, but for now I'm just going to try to relax and enjoy the downtime. 

Quote of the Day

Sophia: "Mommy, I love Charlotte more than ice cream cakes."

Zoo Day

Choices

I posted awhile back about feeling a loss for my individual self. A feeling that whom ever I once was no longer existed and that the person I recognized was unrecognizable. Feeling that Motherhood, in all of it's complexity, had void me of substance. A lot has changed since that entry and I now feel a connection between who I am and what I do that gives me a greater sense of self than I have ever experienced. I am a mom, a wife, a friend, a believer and a writer. All of these attributes fill, invigorate, sustain and propel me. These descriptions tap into the depth of who I am as an individual because all of these parts encompass that which brings me true joy. Rather than rebel with an anarchists fight against the reality of my position in life, I have chosen to foster a meaningful connection between the reality of my situation and it's truth. 

I expected more. A life in the city with a fast paced job cascaded by endless travel opportunities; A life that didn't include marriage or children. In retrospect, the life I daydreamed about was reclusive and absent of companionship centered primarily on personal gain and recognition. Would I have been content if this would have all materialized? I can't honestly say that I know the answer one way or another, but I know for a fact that the life I live today, although unlike anything I imagined, could never be forsaken. For years I have made myself feel inadequate for where I am because this is not what I prepared for and in my lack of preparation I didn't feel qualified. The years I've spent as a wife and mom, friend and believer, the time I have spent writing the thoughts my soul speaks have been my prep course and I've finally realized that my resume is sufficient. I am where I need and want to be. I have the necessary credentials.

I still dream but with a different focus. The core of my plight is to care for the ones I love and to extend myself to those who need me without condition. To worship and to share my experiences in the hope of encouraging others. I love to write and I hope that God will use this passion in ways I'm incapable of imagining. I adore children and I pray to serve them unconditionally beyond my abilities. I am forever grateful to have a husband not only that I love but one that loves me. Friends and family bring forth so much vitality I wish to fill them with the same. I am where I am called to be and I worry no longer whether today will bring me contentment because the happiness I seek surrounds me and can never leave me.

Mohawk

I am so thankful to have friends that trust me enough to let me give them a Mohawk!

A Boy and His Dog

A State of Shock

I think I may be experiencing a mild case of shock, in a good way. Between the previous week's uncertainty to our current and obvious point of clarity, I feel off balance yet somehow level headed.

Let me expand, last week I felt torn between doing what I knew I was called to and what I felt I was capable of. Reaching a point of exhaustion and fatigue, I didn't believe that I could possibly be or want to be Mom to two more children, let alone twins. I was terrified. AJ and I set aside two date nights that were spent in great self examination and discussion amidst deep prayer and council and we eventually reached a joint decision to stay as we were in terms of our referral status until year end when we would then be open to a single infant. This was our decision not God's and it was clearly not what He desires for our family.

My specific prayer was for God to tell me what he needed us to do, I asked for an undeniable answer. Monday came and He made His voice audible. I proceeded to check the unofficial Gladney FBI list as I do every day (I'm a bit of a stalker when it comes to the list) and saw movement. Somehow we were second in terms of specifically asking for either siblings and/or twins. I knew that we were to wait for our twins. Tuesday was upon us and we had moved to first position. God had spoken louder - truly driving the point home. We were waiting for twins, end of discussion!

All of the fear and internal doubt that I was struggling with dissipated and peace once again fell gracefully upon me. The path we are on we walk blindly, lead by a faith that we cherish and trust entirely. God must have greater confidence in my abilities than I have in myself. I am in awe as we wait to see how this all plays out.

"Please don't let my own fear discount the greater need."

Hat Head

Quote of the Day

Me: "Kid, you need to be careful."
Sophia: "I'm not a kid. I'm a woman."

One Year Since the Start

One year has passed since we first began our second Ethiopian adoption. The course has changed and curved in ways that we could have never anticipated, ways that have opened us to greater possibilities. We continue to patiently await God's timing in our referral and look forward to seeing the faces that will change and impact us entirely.

Six Months Waiting

Second on the List

Revision: So the family ahead of us waiting for a sibling group is currently ON HOLD which means that we are First on the List for twins. There is another family waiting for either a daughter or daughter w/twin so there is a possibility that if it's God's will for them to be blessed with two children that they will be the first to receive their referral. However, as it stands now, we are at the top of the list...


Not quite sure I truly believed that we were in the process of adoption again, until I looked at the Gladney FBI list this afternoon. We are second in line waiting for either a sibling or twin referral. There was a family that received a referral for three month old twin girls today (congratulations!!!) after waiting around seven months and there is one family ahead of us waiting for a sibling group of 0-3 years; Then there is us... The next few months could be quite exciting or extremely unnerving which ever way you look at it!

Quote of the Day

"If you believe in nothing, how can you claim to be someone."

Mission Accomplished

I ventured to AdamBomb Gallerie in Milwaukee, with AJ by my side, to place three symbols on my body to represent the blessings that are my children. We walked in and were greeted by a French man named Laurent whom after discussion proceeded to tattoo my first tattoos. After about an hour,  I walked out with a tiny heart atop my foot that was hand drawn by Sophia and transferred unto me, an Ethiopian cross upon my wrist to honor Miss Charlotte and a petite crown placed delicately at the nape of my neck for Etienne. I've been told that more kids equals more tattoos but for now I think it's AJ's turn. To be continued...